Tuesday, July 17, 2012

How To Survive A Zombe Attack!

So I found this badass poster at Walmart entitled How To Survive A Zombie Attack! All rights goes to the creator. I have to share this. It's just amazing!

HOW TO SURVIVE A ZOMBIE ATTACK!

RULE #1: HOME IS WHERE THE HATCHET IS. - Create a home base with plenty of weapons-the sharper the better.

RULE #2: WATCH EXPIRATION DATES. - Stockpile food and water for long periods of time. Canned food is good. Junk food is even better.

RULE #3: KNOCK KNOCK. - Who's there? A zombie! Be sure to create a strong entry and exit door. Barricade all doors and windows.

RULE #4: YOUR MOM. - Trust no one-Not even your mom. (Even if your friends think she's hot.)

RULE #5: HAVE A BURNING DESIRE. - Zombies hate fire. Learn to make fire with everyday objects.

RULE #6: WEAR PROTECTION. - Avoid all zombie body fluids. Yuck!

RULE #7: WEAR SUNGLASSES. - A nice pair of shades always looks cool and will protect your eyes.

RULE #8: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. - Stay fit and fast. Most zombies run like the chubby kid in your third grade class.

RULE #9: BATTER UP. - Zombie down. Keep a large, blunt object nearby and ready to swing at all time. A bat, crowbar or sturdy tree limb usually works nicely.

RULE #10: NO BRAIN, NO PAIN. - Decapitating a zombie is best but kind of gross. Key is to destroy the brain stem. 

RULE #11: BEWARE OF BUSH. - Stay clear of bushes and shrubbery in general.

RULE #12: STAGGER AND DROOL. - Learn to stagger, lumber and drool. Make zombies think you're one of them. Just pretend you're a gym teacher.

RULE #13: CLICHE IS OKAY. - Always check closets and under beds before relaxing in front of the tv.

RULE #14: BOOBIES ARE GOOD. - Set up booby traps as warnings and alerts: trip wires and rattling cans are a good idea.

RULE #15: SLIPPERY KNOBS. - Try putting vaseline on doorknobs. Zombies get frustrated.

RULE #16: NICE TO MEAT YOU. - Always leave raw meat out in the open to distract zombies. Better they eat it than you.

RULE #17: ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS. - Hey, maybe your mom was right!

RULE #18: OBJECTS IN MIRRORS. - Check backseats before buckling in.

RULE #19: DON'T GET MAULED. - Avoid populated areas like shopping malls and movie theaters. To a zombie, those are an all-you-can-eat buffet.

RULE #20: GO ALL THE WAY. - A wounded zombie is not a dead zombie.

I love this! My faves are RULE #12 & RULE #15. Seriously though. To the person that created this. You did a fantastic job!

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