Wednesday, October 5, 2011


I'm so sick of never being fucking good enough for anyone. I'm sick of trying so fucking hard just to constantly be hurt or rejected or blow off. If only you guys knew half the shit that goes on in my head, half of what I'm fucking feeling all the time and maybe you'd understand. I'm never a good enough daughter, I'm never good enough to fucking date, hell I'm probably not even that good of a friend. Its not like any of this matters though. The last time anyone fucking cared about anything in my life was a while ago. I'm sick of breaking down everytime someone says something to hurt me, I'm sick of breakning down when someone says I'm not good enough. I'm sick of being the one thats always fucking getting hurt. All I've wanted for the past couple months is one thing. Just one thing... And theres always gotta be something in the way of that. Am I not allowed to be happy? Its like I'm only allowed half days of being happy.. Maybe less. Is my constant depression entertaining to all of you? Cuz I'm so sick of feeling like this all the time and it feels like no one even cares or will listen to how I feel. All everyone cares about is themselves. Nothing I ever have to say matters to anyone. :.(

1 comment:

  1. Brittani,

    This is Sam. I came across this blog from your other blog about books. I think you are right about all everyone cares about is themselves. I'm the only child in my family, and I'm never a good enough son. It's probably my parents have higher expectations of me. But maybe they don't know how I feel about it, most of times I can't satisfy them at all. I'm sorry to hear this. Sometimes I think some people are very greedy and selfish. They don't care what we feel. They do whatever they want and leave us alone in the dark, without once looking back at us. I hope everything goes well to you. You kind of reminded me of my best friend (who passed away four years ago) in a good way. :)

    Sometimes I wish people care more about us, not hurting us like you mentioned earlier. What hurts me most if probably people say things we don't want to hear, thus left that piece of emotion shatters inside our hearts. I wish my friend's still alive to hear more about my story, we used to talk to each other when we feel down or hurt. Now, all I can do is talk to myself in my own head and figure out what to do in my own term.

    Sorry I've talked too much. I feel a little better when I read your post. Like I said, you reminded me of my friend....